I stood in front of the mirror tracing my lips, I remember the kiss as of I had kissed him a hundred times. I was scared that I did not felt ashamed rather I wanted to kiss him more.

I hated myself for getting up and leaving the bed. I wanted to sit there and kiss him more and more. Maybe takes his lips with me every where I go.

I stood against the wall of the bathroom and breathed deep. I looked at myself in the mirror I had ordinary body, ordinary face and I was not skilled at anything. And the man outside he has the best physique,is handsome and earns more money than I can count in a day.

Even if I leave the fact that I am a pregnant widow aside how do I ever come to his level.

The way he held me from my waist when we were kissing, I can still feel the warmth of his hands on my waist. I wanted him to take his hands up and caress me.

I bit my lips, imagining his arms moving up my body and moving my own. How would it feel if his hands would take my nipple in his fingers and pinch them. Tight.

"Radhika, bacche, are you okay? Ma is waiting for both of us." My eyes widened at Abhimanyu ji's voice. He sounded worried.

"I am okay." I replied unable to control my raspy voice. I can't believe what was I doing, what was I even thinking.

"What were you doing Radhika?" His words sounded scary, his voice deep.

"No-nothing."

"Good. Only I can touch you, you want something you ask me. Remember that Radhika I don't like repeating my words."

Did he knew what I was doing? But that's not possible.

I draped my saree properly and moved out of the bathroom.

The room was empty, with no sign of his presence. I went to sit on the bed for two minutes before moving out.

What will Abhimanyu ji think of me? But is it okay for me to feel all this? I wanted him to touch me, but why? I never felt like this before.

I stood up to move out before anyone else can in. I was too scared to go out at this point. I never wanted Raghav to touch me. In the beginning it felt okay but later I loathed it.

Was I this naive that Abhimanyu Ji's some happening words made me feel like this. I looked at everyone sitting on the dining table. The breakfast arranged.

Abhimanyu ji had his back facing me, mom and dad were still sad with whatever happened with Raghav. They made it as less visible as possible

At least they never reminded me of this thing. Never let it get to me. This house also separated from Raghav and his memories let me breathe in peace.

I caressed my baby bump and moved to sit on the empty seat beside mom.

"Sit here." Abhimanyu ji said making my eyes widened.

His mother smiled softly and dad looked unbothered by anything.

"Can we do your pehli rasoi tomorrow? Then me and Raj are leaving. Things have been really difficult for all of us. I want to welcome our grandchild with a peace of mind and not with a heaviness in our heart. As a parent I can never cope with what has gone through us. Raghav might have never been present for us as a son. But he is someone I gave birth to. We all discussed that we would not have this conversation with you but I can't stop myself. " I saw her eyes teary and I felt mine become teary too.

"Me and Raj are leaving to Amritsar for two weeks. I don't want to leave you alone, but I don't want my gloominess to affect the baby or you. Is it okay Radhika? I am sorry if I am hurting you."

I went and hugged her we both crying in each other's arms. On such events nothing feels right even if the person you lost did not deserve it. But from eating your favourite food to laughing on a joke all feels like a crime.

"Ma I am sorry if I made you feel like you can't cry for your lost son." She nodded her head in no and continued crying.

From the side of my eyes I saw dad wiping his misty eyes. Clearing ma's eyes I went and hugged him.

"It is time we understand that this our family. What has happened can not be changed."

"I am planning to hire more maids to help Radhika and adopt two dogs after you come back. The house would feel less lonely."

I loved dogs and a huge smile etched on my face. Abhimanyu ji looked at me and smiled atleast he tried to.

On the other hand dad looked nonchalant and Ma looked horrified. She looked at my smile and then nervously smiled.

"Are you scared of dogs ma?" I asked going back to my seat.

Abhimanyu ji dragged my seat near to his and I glared at him. His and mine chair had barely any space left.

"It's okay Radhika, he is nothing better than his father." And I saw dad blushing.

Since Raghav used to live alone I never saw this interaction and I could not help but laugh at their cutenes.

It didn't feel normal, to laugh. But family made it all okay. And me and my baby has found our family I could not have been happier.